How to Throw Up Quickly and Quietly: Best Tricks to Try Out

Whether you’re battling the world’s worst hangover or a nasty stomach bug, being nauseous is one of the most unpleasant predicaments. The fact that others might be able to hear you while you throw up makes matters even worse.

Thus, it’s essential to learn how to do it quickly and without alerting everyone around you of how you’re feeling. Below, we’ll go over some of the best tips for quiet and efficient vomiting that will help you feel better in no time. Follow along!

Why Is Throwing Up Usually So Loud?

Before diving into our tips for quiet puking, let’s discuss why this physiological function produces so much noise in the first place.

For starters, liquids and larger food chunks coming out of your mouth are bound to cause at least some noise. Whether you do your business over your toilet bowl or into a bag, it is impossible to make it entirely soundless.

Next, it’s important to remember that throwing up is the body’s reaction to feeling poisoned or harboring a virus or bacteria. As such, it is usually violent and causes muscle contractions, as the body wants to expel what’s bothering it as quickly as possible.

As the puke leaves your stomach, the air is expelled from your lungs and larynx at the same time to prevent choking. What follows are the heaves and coughing that you’re probably used to while throwing up.

Now, how loud you will be depends on what’s causing you to vomit and how much puke there is. If there is only a little, the muscles won’t have to contract for long, so the noise will be reduced. But if you’re violently ill due to a virus and there is a lot to expel from the stomach, the process will be a lot longer and, thus, louder.

Lastly, the loudness also depends on the person. Some are naturally quieter when they throw up, while others cause a lot of noise. Still, no matter which group you belong to, there are some tips you can use to make throwing up as soundless as possible.

We’ll go over them below.

How to Throw Up Quietly

1. Mask the Sound

If you need to throw up and your home is milling with people who will hear your every heave, it’s smart to try and mask the sound. To do that, you can let the water run and feign taking a shower.

Of course, you can actually take a shower, too, as it will help you feel cleaner and more refreshed after. Just make sure you vomit in the toilet so that you don’t clog your shower drain if any larger bits come out. Then, you can hop in the shower and wash all of it away.

Regardless of whether you really shower or not, you can also add some music to the mix. After all, many people shower while listening to their favorite playlists, so no one will find it strange. The combination of running water and music will give you just enough cover to throw up without worrying about who can hear you.

In addition to these, white noise machines can effectively mask a variety of sounds, including that of vomiting. Even the loud flushing of a toilet can be used to your advantage in this case (unlike many others). As you can see there are many options, you just need to be creative.

2. Go Outside

This is another trick you can use if your home is full and you need to escape and puke without anyone finding out. It’s quite simple: you just need to sneak out quietly and find a deserted place to go about your business.

Now, this location can be anything that’s close by but still private, so take your pick once you manage to escape. To avoid making excess noise, it’s best to do it behind a tall fence or bush. Also, aim for a grassy area or soft soil. These surfaces will not only muffle the sound but will also conceal any evidence more effectively.

An even smarter idea is to bring a bag with you and throw up in it. Once you’re done, you can dispose of it and get back home as if nothing happened. That way, you’ll be even safer from anyone finding out or hearing you.

If you do choose to use this method, just make sure you don’t throw up over concrete or any other especially hard surface. For starters, doing so will make way too much noise. In addition, you’ll have a difficult time removing the puke afterward, which defeats the purpose of being sneaky.

3. Prepare Well

Is the majority of the noise you make coming from your own heaving and coughing? In that case, the key to being quieter is preparing for the task ahead of time.

For instance, you should take a few sips of water before you throw up. Doing so will lubricate your throat and allow the liquid and larger bits to come out more smoothly. As a result, you won’t cough too much or make any other excess noise.

In addition, you should try and relax your body as much as possible. If you’re overly tense, vomiting will take longer, and the process will be both louder and more painful. But if you relax your upper body and take deep breaths through your nose, everything will be over quicker.

Of course, sometimes it is not possible to prepare or control your body and its responses when the urge to throw up hits. In such cases, just try to take care of yourself as best as you can. But if you have time and you can do it, it’s the best advice out there for making as little noise as possible.

4. Use Toilet Paper

To minimize the sound of the puke hitting the water in your toilet bowl, you can use toilet paper. Simply line a few feet of it over the water, and you’ll be able to throw up in peace.

The paper will absorb the puke and prevent it from hitting the water. Plus, it will help make cleanup faster, as most of the mess will be contained in the toilet paper that you can simply flush after.

In case you don’t have toilet paper, a good strategy is to aim away from the water in the bowl. So, try to throw up so that the vomit hits the walls of your toilet instead, and the noise will be significantly reduced.

This technique can also be useful when you wish to pee or poop quietly. Just ensure you don’t clog the toilet.

How to Throw Up Quickly

Besides knowing how to throw up quietly, it’s also useful to learn how to go about it quickly and efficiently. That way, you will save yourself from a lot of discomfort and pain.

Combining the following tips with the soundless tricks above will make for the most painless puking session you’ve ever had.

1. Use Your Fingers or a Toothbrush

If you have an upset stomach and simply can’t shake it, you could try inducing vomiting by yourself. Doing so will help you feel better and alleviate some of the tension and pain you’re feeling. Plus, as soon as you expel whatever is upsetting your stomach, it should go back to normal in no time.

A great hack to use in this situation is good old finger-vomiting. All you have to do is place your fingers in your mouth as far as they will go. At the same time, you should use your thumb to press down on your tongue.

Ideally, doing that should make you gag and, after a few seconds, vomit. It might take you a few tries, so be patient. And in case your fingers aren’t long enough, you can also use your toothbrush to the same effect.

However, it’s important to mention that this trick won’t work if you don’t have a gag reflex. If that’s the case, keep reading, as there are other solutions you can try out.

2. Use Saltwater

For most people, a simple combination of salt and water is all it takes to induce vomiting. You simply take a few tablespoons of salt and mix it well into a glass of water.

Drink the entirety of the glass quickly in one gulp, and you should start feeling nauseous pretty soon. Depending on the person, it might even be enough to just gurgle the water around in your throat for a minute. So, try both options to see which one works better.

3. Find the Nausea Pressure Point

There are several nausea pressure points on our bodies. One is located at the center of your lower wrist (at the base of your palm), while another lies between your thumb and forefinger, to name just a few.

If you want to induce puking, you just have to apply pressure to these points. You can use your fingers or the heel of your hand, as that gives the best results. To ensure the acupressure works, you will have to apply it for at least a few minutes.

This option is an excellent choice if you cannot bear to put your fingers or a toothbrush in your mouth. It’s not messy at all, and it usually works like a charm. Still, you should note that inducing vomiting like this can take up to ten minutes, so it’s not the quickest solution.

What to Keep in Mind

No matter why you want to induce vomiting, it’s crucial to remember a few safety tips. Most importantly, you should not do it often. If you do, it could lead to dehydration, throat and stomach damage, as well as breathing problems.

So, when looking at these hacks, remember that they are just here to help you in emergencies. If you get food poisoning or eat too much food at a family gathering, you can use them to vomit quickly and quietly and move on. The same is the case if you have a persistent headache or a stomach bug.

However, if nausea and discomfort persist even after you relieve yourself and you feel worse, it’s best to call your doctor. By getting a concrete diagnosis, you’ll know exactly which steps to take to feel better.

Final Thoughts

Knowing how to vomit quickly and quietly is an excellent skill to have if you live with a big family or a lot of roommates. Some of the best hacks to use include playing music, running the shower water, or using toilet paper as a soundproofing buffer. And if you need to speed up the process, making use of your fingers or some saltwater is the best way to go.

In the end, remember to visit your doctor for a checkup if the nausea and vomiting persist. By tackling the root of the problem, you will eliminate the noise and mess as well.

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