How to Fart Quietly (Tips on Quiet Wind-Breaking)

Gas, flatus, breaking wind, cutting the cheese, letting one rip, exuding vapors — the list goes on. But no matter what synonym you use, you’re describing the same basic action, that of farting. There isn’t a single human being on the planet that doesn’t do it, and though it’s natural and often quite funny, people are still afraid of doing it in public.

So, if you find yourself surrounded by people, or just want to conceal that you’re about to fart, how can you do it without making noise? Well, this article is here to help you figure that out.

Why Do We Pass Gas?

But before we get into the proper silent farting methods, we must first discuss what farts are and why they tend to be loud.

Farts have fascinated humanity for many millennia. Some people were even compelled to make a lucrative career out of passing gas in public. And like most excretory bodily functions, passing gas can be genuinely funny, especially if it’s rather loud.

Of course, farts are a byproduct of digestion, and they normally contain nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, methane, and trace amounts of other materials. The gasses we release come about as a result of bodily microbes digesting the food and breaking down the carbohydrates that our body consumes. If we consume more fatty foods, such as cheese or red meat, these microbes will take longer to break them down, which results in more gas being produced than usual.

Sometimes, the human body can’t tolerate a particular type of chemical or material, such as lactose or gluten. Oftentimes, if a person with such a body makeup consumes the material in question, they will produce a lot more gasses than usual. In addition, those gasses might have a far more pungent odor than the ones without the material related to the intolerance.

So, Why Are Some Farts Loud?

Depending on how we pass gas, there may or may not be an accompanying sound. Furthermore, it’s also connected to the tightness of a particular muscle called the anal sphincter.

Our body contains several sphincters, i.e., small, ring muscles that contract and expand. The anal sphincter, located at your bottom, serves to expel feces and gases. If that muscle is loose and relaxed, the gas will pass without making too much noise. However, if it’s contracted and a lot of air (or gas) goes through at once, it will produce a loud, audible sound.

Tips on Quiet Farting

Much like pooping, breaking wind can also be done quietly if we apply the right techniques. Of course, we won’t be using the same types of fart-silencing methods all the time. For instance, if we’re in a crowded public area, we can’t exactly get something from our room that will help quell the sound. Therefore, take these instructions and apply them on a case-by-case basis.

Relaxing and Putting the Effort In

More often than not, you will be able to keep your fart in for a certain period of time. Once it feels like the pressure is too much, you’ll have to release the gas. But while you’re keeping it in, you can perform a few simple motions to make the gas come out quietly and unnoticeably.

Firstly, try to consciously relax your muscles. As stated earlier, the tighter the sphincter is, the more noise the fart will produce. In addition, take deep breaths and calm yourself further. Having done all of that, it’s time to pass the gas.

However, now that you’ve relaxed, try to consciously release the gas slowly. Don’t let it rip all at once. That way, it will be gone in one long take, but nobody will be able to hear it. In addition, your stomach will be less bloated in no time, and you’ll feel no discomfort as you’re releasing the flatus.

Getting a Pillow

Yes, an ordinary pillow can cushion your farts, so to speak. If you’re at home and don’t want to produce a loud gaseous noise and bother the other housemates, simply sit down on a soft, cushy pillow. Not only will it absorb the noise, but it will also trap the smell in one spot. All you have to do next is to place the pillow outside for it to air out.

Other soft pieces of furniture, such as beanbags, can also do the trick. The same works for chairs, armchairs, and sofas with cotton cushions. However, don’t try this with leather furniture. Leather doesn’t absorb the sound, and in certain cases, can even amplify it. In other words, the famous “it was the chair” excuse will not work in this case.

Proper Positioning

Ask yourself the following question: would your flatus sound louder when you’re chilling in your armchair or when you’re sitting with your legs crossed nervously? How about sitting on a hard chair; does it produce more sound than when you’re lying down?

It’s all about how you position yourself. The more constraints you put on your body, the louder and more intense the flatus will inevitably be. If you’re in your home, simply try to relax your body as much as possible. And yes, that includes finding a position that is loose and open.

If you happen to be in a crowded area and feel the need to pass gas, try to move near an open window. That way, not only will the noise from outside drown out any fart sounds, but you’ll also be close to the source of fresh air.

Anti-Gas Tablets

There are lots of anti-gas products on the market today. Some of them are edibles that you can chew on after meals. Others include more traditional supplements like tablets and softgels. Either solution can work, as long as you take them properly.

And speaking of taking tablets properly, it’s incredibly important to consult your doctor before use. Some of these anti-gas supplements contain ingredients that might worsen your condition. Alternatively, you might be allergic to some of the materials that an anti-gas product has.

Moving to a Larger Space

Not being cooped up in a small room is crucial when you feel gaseous. If you fart in a cramped bathroom or an elevator, your wind-breaking will be heard by anyone, even outside of the room. That’s because the sound bounces off more quickly and directly, with all of the walls being so close to each other.

Large, spacious rooms have an advantage for a few reasons. Firstly, you can mask the sound by moving to a different section of the room. Next, fewer people will hear it if you can keep a solid distance. And most importantly, if you move about when you break wind, your gas will dissipate faster than it would in a small area.

Squats

Sometimes, in order to remove excess air from your body, you’ll need to do some squats. By performing this exercise correctly, not only will you get rid of any excess gas, but you’ll also keep your body in good shape. After all, a fit body is less likely to have gas problems of any kind.

Squats tend to flatten the colon. That results in pushing the gas to flow in one direction. Otherwise, it would travel back and forth inside of your intestines, giving you additional problems.

Another great detail about squats is the fact that you can literally do them anywhere. Whether you’re out for a hike, relaxing in your backyard, or playing games in your room, a squat or two will be more than enough to solve your gas dilemma.

Reducing the Amount of Bodily Gas

Since gas is an obvious component of any flatus, the best method of getting rid of loud farts is to get rid of gas preemptively. Luckily, there are a few easy methods you can apply to reduce the amount of gas your body produces.

Slow Chewing

Chewing too quickly not only produces annoying sounds but also results in lots of gas. That’s because when you chew fast, you take huge amounts of air alongside your food. All of that air then begins to build up in your stomach, right up until the pressure forces you to discard it.

Believe it or not, eating a meal too quickly will result in lots of gas. That’s because when you chew fast, you take huge amounts of air alongside your food. All of that air then begins to build up in your stomach, right up until the pressure forces you to discard it.

Therefore, in order to reduce the amount of air you take with every meal, try to chew slowly. Controlling your chews will also enable you to digest your food more easily than normal. And proper digestion always results in fewer flatuses and less pungent odors.

Small Meals

And speaking of proper digestion, you will not be getting it with large meals. If you eat too much food during one serving, your stomach bloats and as a result, your movements become sluggish and slow. Moreover, your metabolism needs extra power, and the more it works to digest all that food, the more gas gets produced.

Small meals, on the other hand, will result in less strain on your metabolism. Moreover, it will help keep your weight in check, as well as your overall energy level.

Peppermint Tea

Organic, natural peppermint tea is an excellent product to take when you have gas issues. Mint has properties that help the human body digest food during large meals. But more importantly, it helps reduce any pain or cramps that come with bloating. So, whenever you feel like you’ve had more than your fill, drink a small cup of hot peppermint tea and you’ll be good to go.

Regular Exercise

Try to implement a daily exercise routine, at least 15-20 minutes each morning. Simple stretching exercises with a few squats or crunches ought to do the trick. Regular runs would also be extremely beneficial to your overall health.

Exercising daily will, among other things, strengthen your digestive tract. Over time, your body will begin to process food better than before, resulting in fewer issues with gasses and bloating. It will also help you poop more easily without any nasty chafing or injuries.

Avoiding Bubblegum

Sometimes, peppermint chewing gum can be helpful as a laxative or a general digestion supplement. However, we still recommend against eating it too much or too often.

While you chew gum, you tend to take in more air than usual. As we’ve seen with large meals, air intake will inevitably result in bloating and creation of additional gasses.

Avoiding Hard-to-Digest Food

If you want less gas in your system, it goes without saying that you will opt for food that’s easy to digest. That means you will generally want to avoid ingesting products like onions, lentils, beans, dried fruit, cabbage, fizzy drinks, cauliflower, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts. Depending on what your body can handle, you might also want to avoid dairy products and meat that contain a lot of fat.

Quiet Farting Summarized

Flatulence may be funny, but nobody wants to be embarrassed by having everyone hear that they had just let one rip.

Hopefully, the tips in this article will help you find a way to pass gas silently and subtly so that nobody can hear. Furthermore, these tips may also help you improve your overall health and standing in life.

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